Last night before I fell asleep, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. It felt like the The Fool had decided not to risk and not to jump off the cliff with trust. To fall asleep, I had to convince myself that I could just stand at the cliff for awhile till I felt the trust again. Now it feels like the hopelessness was covering up a sense of loss. I have been changing. This Qabalah work has been changing me - or rather I have been changing by showing up for this great work. And I am grieving lifelong survival tools and denial mechanisms that I am letting go of.
'Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.' Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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