From Kether to Tipharet

What I am 'grocking' the most from my Path of Gimel (from Kether to Tipharet) is a better grasp and understanding the way of the Middle Pillar. I do not hope to digest this Path fully. Qabalah is a way of life. Pathworking is allowing me a clarity about my fears. It would be really nice not to have any fears - but then what fun would there be in this dimension? Love. of course, is the antithesis. And have I not created my world to use my fears to bring me to greater levels of love? (I think I just surprised myself.)
'It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake.' Frederick Douglass

My Path Between Kether and Tipharet

As I travel from Kether to Tipharet, I am gaining a new perspective of the "I" that I am. I am in a deep process of forgiveness - looking at my world through my eyes, realizing its subjectivity. I can only change the outer by changing the inner.
"Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world." Arthur Schopenhauer

Gimel, My Camel Path

I was contemplating the Path of Gimel. I was contemplating walking like a camel, which is what Gimel means. I am taking this quite literally. A camel's hoofs are designed for walking on sand and its body is uniquely designed, and has evolved, for the desert. So how have I evolved? What am I most efficient for? Uniquely designed for? My path in life is a path of service. So I am uniquely designed for the path I have chosen. As a Kabbalist, I have chosen to live the Tree of Life and all of its Paths.
'You have to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there.' Yogi Berra

High Priestess and Me

I seem to be challenged with the Path of the High Priestess. In my past, I can see a pattern of interrupt. When things were going well, I would interrupt with some kind or level of chaos. On the Middle Pillar Path of the High Priestess, I seem to be feeling my fears instead of letting go of them.
"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not." George Bernard Shaw

The Path of Gimel

I am now on the Path of the Hebrew letter, Gimel. This is the path between Kether and Tipharet. Gimel is camel. And so I share be riding a camel for awhile. I am excited about the possibilities that await me on this path on the Middle Pillar. I am already feeling more balanced from being on the Middle Pillar. However, I have seen movies where people have ridden camels, and it dos not look too easy - and sand is not a flat surface. I shall be holding onto the reins with both hands.
'The miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk on the earth.' Chinese Proverb

Magician on Path 12

I am experiencing great abundance. I amusing the Sephiroth to solve my problems. I am releasing them into and through the energies of the Sephiroth needed at teh time. I feel as if the Magician's tools are now available to me as never before. I feel like I am living the magical life.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" Mary Oliver

Trojan Virus in Malkuth

Malkuth is the physical. I am, and my world is, a result of my choices. I received the Trojan virus from someone I trusted. Being a Kabbalist, I affirm that nothing happens in my world without design. A Trojan virus holds destruction (of your operating system) as did the original Trojan horse (of a destroying army). I looked at what needed to start over in my life. What operating system in my life needed to be destroyed - so that it could be re-booted? I am now looking at my life as a business - what is profitable, right action and what is not. Thoughts produce after their kind - so am in in the red? And where?
‘Remember this, and also be persuaded of its truth - the future is not in the hands of fate, but in ourselves.’ Jules Jullerand

Intelligent Transparency on Path12

There is a great song in the musical, "Chicago" called "Cellophane" - at least I think that its the full title. In it, one the characters says that 'they look right through me, see right through me.' That is exactly how I feel. And my fear of Transparency, Intelligent or not, means that I have become invisible. And in my world, invisible has always equated with abandonable. This is a fear I am walking through as I walk this Path. And I am looking forward to the Divine Mother in Binah awaiting me with open arms.

Emotional Intelligent Transparency

I realized today that my feeling way of being has transformed to a thinking way of being. My usual way of being was to feel first, and think later. This led to many ill-conceived decisions. This Path 12 is allowing my emotions and feelings to become transparent to me. It is an interesting place to be - more of a challenge than anything else.
'Your life is what your thoughts make it.' Marcus Aurelius

Bet - Path of Intelligent Transparency

I am trying to get a grasp on the concept of Intelligence of Transparency, which is the name of Path 12. In my Qabalah Teacher's training, I did see a transparency to my own machinations. I did see very clearly, perhaps, too clearly, how easy it was to become judgmental. Perhaps, the deeper truth is to see how easily I became triggered by my own stuff. My triggers (fears of being abandoned and invisible)did become transparent to me. They helped me define my place in the world - sort of like a house for me to live in. And, I just realized, (coincidence?) that the Hebrew letter, Bet, translates as house.
"Home ought to be our clearinghouse, the place from which we go forth lessoned and disciplined, and ready for life." Kathleen Norris

The House of the Hebrew letter, Bet

I have just finished training to become a Qabalah teacher. The training was incredible. My teacher, Laurie Huber (Gundnason), is a real gift. Please do check out her site, www.7thMysteryschool.com.
I filled my house with so many good things. I had challenges. I was triggered. And, really, that is what Qabalah is all a out. I used the Sephiroth on the Tree of Life to fill my house with great tools. I used the love of Tipharet, the 'I' to transcend my petty contrivances. I really saw that I could transcend (with spiritual work) any envy and jealousy and that my negative emotions are really contrivances. I saw that my attachments skewed my perceptions.

Gratitude for the Pagth(s) that I am on

I am in training to become a Teacher of the Qabalah. I am in Malkuth (Path 10)and on the Pathworking Path 12, the Path of Hebrew letter Bet (Beit, Beth). Yesterday, I became so judgmental and resentful of another person. I think that it took the energies of all these Paths to help me reach the humility and teachability I needed. I basically was jealous. Being ascended into Malkuth, I saw what attention I wasn't getting - and not grateful for what I had received already. I am grateful it took less than one minute from jealousy/judgment/resentment to humility/teachability. I have been know to have to work on a resentment for quite awhile. So my turnaround time is vastly improving!
'Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.' Vincent van Gogh

Bet: the Jouney to Self Awareness instead of Self Consciousness

Yesterday, traveling to SLC for the Qabalah Teacher's training, I journeyed through abandonment. Or rather, I journeyed through how I have perceived myself as 'abandonable.' Actually, it has been more like trying to get abandoned in the present day, to make sense of the abandonments throughout a dysfunctional childhood. I realized that I can't make sense of the past - that hat happened, happened. And no one can give me back what I lost then. I realized that I have been the only one perpetuating my sense of abandonment, or 'abandonability.' I have been self-conscious about abandonment, carrying the past around with me, trying to make sense out of the nonsensical. I have reached a level of self-awareness through Bet - that abandonment is an internal process. And today, I choose to support myself, cherish myself.
'As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.' John F. Kennedy

Path 12 and Fear

While in the Malkuth class, Sunday, I experienced great fear - irrational fear. My teacher, Laurie, helped me realize that Malkuth is grounding me in my body like never before - and I am feeling. I had to find the anger under the fear and then understand what Sephiroth this fear related to. I did. It is Geburah - boundaries. I found the fear of childhood boundaries having been violated. I am breathing through it still in process.
'Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be.' Jose Ortega y Gassett

Malkuth, again

I am ascending up the Tree of Life, while I am going 'down' through the Pathworking. I feel a tug between Malkuth and The Magician. Malkuth is grounding me in my body in a way I have yet to experience. All the while, I am feeling high from the energies of creating through The Magician. It is fascinating that both experiences deal with the 4 elements. The Magician has them at his disposal - to create - while Malkuth has them as made manifest. I am totally excited about the possibilities of experiences.
'And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.' Kahlil Gibran

The Magician's Tools

So, on Path 12, I leave Kether with all the tools I need. Now, my journey will be one of learning how to most effectively use these tools. I have left Kether, one level, complete. For me, the trust in God of The Fool is being morphed into the trust in myself. Do I have the courage to use these tools correctly? Is there a wrong way to use the tools? Being The Magician, I have in my life exactly what I have needed to get me to this point. Fair enough. So, if I want to be in a different place, I will have to use the tools differently.
‘What really matters is what you do with what you have.’ Shirley Lord

Magician and My Intention

My knee went out this morning (not the first time). And all my agendas and intentions for today went out the window. I envisioned The Magician and all his tools and I didn't have the centeredness (due to knee pain) to use them. I would have been reacting and trying to fix. I was anything or anywhere but in the moment. I realized that to be a magician, or The Magician, yo have to be, can only be, in the moment. Regular magicians do not do tricks in the future or the past. They are totally fixed in the moment.
'Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.' Buddha

Worth and This Work - Through the Eyes of The Magician

I had an amazing awareness while sitting in the dentist chair yesterday. I had a cap removed, in order to be replaced. Tears streamed down my face as the cap was removed. The trauma of the tooth injury of over 30 years ago was released. And what came up was 'what am I worth?' Not in money. In what I had brought into life. I got that ALL that I have in my life, I have brought into my life. I am The Magician. I have all the elements of creation. All in my life has been created from my choices. Only, until yesterday, most of these choices have been made with varying levels of fear. I have feared that people will find out that I have no worth - that I have to keep doing, to be of value, to be of worth.
Sitting in the dentist chair, I kept seeing The Magician card.
'If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different yourself.' Norman Vincent Peale

The Magician

I am still working on Trust and have to go within to find it. But when I study The Magician card, and see the 4 symbols, the 4 elements and am brought without to find the Trust. The Magician's arm positions remind me of 'as above, so below.' So, playing Devil's Advocate, does God trust me?
'To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funnybone.'
Reba McEntire

Path 12

Path 11 (and all that it offers me) certainly intensified its presence in my life in the last few days. I am glad to be on Path 12 with The Magician. I am facing such trust issues with someone I have believed in for over 23 years. This is rocking my concept of self. This issue is making me take a hard look at who I say I am - and what are my founding principle and beliefs. Actually, I do feel like I have jumped off the cliff as The Fool and am still in free fall. So I humbly accept the Path of The Magician. What comforts me in this moment is that The Magician is prepared. He has all four symbols, all four elements, there in front of him for his use.
'We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.' Lauren Hill

The Fool and Trust Issue

I sent an email to someone Sunday. And the response that I received really hurt. I felt vulnerable and misunderstood. I had to see where maybe I was standing at the cliff's edge. I didn't think that there was a risk element to my email. But the response certainly had me of the brink of having to trust who I am and what my motives were. How can I say that I am in the right. WE all live through our perspectives. The other person's perspective of my email has a right to be expressed. I am especially grateful that a friend intervened to remind me that I hadn't done anything wrong. So I was able to walk away trusting in myself more strongly.
'Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out.' Jack Buck

Aleph and Creation

When I draw the Hebrew letter, Aleph, I draw it seeing the essence of 'as above, so below.'I was reversing, 'as above, so below' to 'as below, so above.' And then I turned Aleph upside down. And I saw that the slash (for want of a better word) is like a veil. The top 'foot' or 'arm' is smaller than the bottom one. When I turned the letter upside down, I had an awareness that it takes so little Divine energy to create. It is how we cross the veil(s) to manifest that we need to grow the energy - hence going down the Tree of Life, to build the force, the momentum, to physically create from the Divine creative energy.
'Dreams pass into the reality of action. From the actions stems the dream again; and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.' Anais Nin

My Hopelessness on Path 11

Last night before I fell asleep, I was filled with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. It felt like the The Fool had decided not to risk and not to jump off the cliff with trust. To fall asleep, I had to convince myself that I could just stand at the cliff for awhile till I felt the trust again. Now it feels like the hopelessness was covering up a sense of loss. I have been changing. This Qabalah work has been changing me - or rather I have been changing by showing up for this great work. And I am grieving lifelong survival tools and denial mechanisms that I am letting go of.
'Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts into action is the most difficult thing in the world.' Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

In the Beginning - Aleph

It is awesome to feel the energy of initial sound - the first sound of Creation. I am in Creation mode but until now I think that my first sounds were hemming and hawing. It is the follow thorough that I will be interested seeing unfold as I incorporate the Tree going down the Paths. This is such a different context for seeing my life and actions.
'The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.' John Dewey

Changing Viewpoints with Aleph

When I draw Aleph, I continually see it drawn as 'as above, so below.' And that is helping me see that there is a divine purpose to my life. I am here, filled with passion - for service, for Qabalah, for the expression of my psychic/prophetic talents. This passion does not come from me. It is within me. It is a passion that drives me that I am finally following through expressing that passion now. I feel divinely inspired - that I am ow expressing the 'so below.'
'Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts. And never hope more than you work.' Rita Mae Brown

Aleph and me in my Void of Expectation

I am meeting with a business consultant (www.SCOREChicago.org) for two monthly free one hour sessions. I am planning my business. I have never felt more focused - and it is mixed with this fear of being on the edge - of my new beginnings and not knowing what is going to show up when I jump off.
'Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.' Helen Keller

Aleph and my new beginnings

I am excited about my life. I feel a renewed sense of purpose. This may be due to my pondering all the The Fool has in his little satchel on the stick. I really am complete. I really do have all that I need. I have tools. And I am growing in the trust of being in the present moment.
'You've got to get to the stage in life where going for it is more important than winning or losing.' Arthur Ashe

The Tree

I realized yesterday when I was talking about the Tree of Life that it is the Tree of LIFE - not Knowledge, not Wisdom, not Ascension, etc. You find these on the Tree or through working the Tree. To me, it really is a way of living life. I am struggling with humility (basically replacing a sense of entitlement that has served me to compensate for a low self-esteem). My sense of self is changing - my self-esteem is healthier now. It is still amazing how lessons creep up on me when I am working the Tree.
'We have magnificent brains, but we use a great deal of our brilliance to keep ourselves stuck and ignorant, to keep ourselves from not shining. We are so afraid of our beauty and radiance and brilliance because it scared the adults around us when we were children.' Patricia Sun

Math and the Path

I had an enjoyable conversation about mathematics with an engineer yesterday. We talked about rules of mathematics - and bending them. I was reminded of how I gravitated to math as a child to escape the chaos of my alcoholic, dysfunctional family. You build on each rule as you learn them. They are reliable. 2 + 2 always equals 4, always. I think that is why I love Qabalah and working the Tree of Life. There is a pattern that is undeniable and unalterable. I am safe on the Tree. I know where I can find my place.
'Life is a zoo in a jungle.' Peter De Vries

As above, so below - Aleph

After meditation this morning, I felt amazingly at peace. I meditated on Aleph (1st letter of Hebrew alphabet). I was actually drawing the letter in my mind and I saw a sequencing of the three strokes to create the letter as a was of grounding in the physical 'as above, so below.'
'You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it's all right.' Maya Angelou

Path 11

I feel the anticipation of new beginnings. The Reality of the Absolute. I have a rumbling in my heart. It feels like an expansion in my ability to love. I am finding myself having a new level of compassion - and patience. I am seeing the incidents in my life in a bigger perspective - where love might have ben hiding.
‘If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question.’ Lily Tomlin

Pathwork and Trust

I am on the Path of Aleph, the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet - and the Fool of the Tarot deck. So I have been thinking about trust since my class last night. And it is amazing how many times the word, trust, was on the sport shows this morning mostly about players trusting their team mates and coaches - and their own skills. For me, my sense of trust in God is tied into my lovability - am I loved enough to be taken care of by God.
'The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.' Victor Hugo

Pathworking

I received my introduction to Pathworking in class last night with my Qabalah teacher,
Laurie Seachrist Gudnason. Wow! I am in store for the ride of my life. I had thought that Pathworking is going down the Tree - and yes, you do travel from Kether to Malkuth on the Paths between the Sephiroth. But this is traveling (and integrating) on the Tree above. I will be expressing myself as the archetypes - or seeing the archetypes express in me. This will be exciting!
‘The young man knows the rules, but the old man knows the exceptions.’ Oliver Wendell Holmes

Malkuth and my Life

I feel listless. I will be going down the Tree of Life, creating - inventing - my life. No excuses. My life will be entirely my responsibility...
'Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.' Author Unknown

Up and Down the Tree of Life

I will be starting down the Tree tomorrow doing the Pathworking. You can only go down the Paths after you have ascended the Tree. Perhaps that is why I felt so befuddled between Malkuth and Kether in Atlanta. I am preparing to go down the Tree and will be proceeding up the Tree again in a few weeks. This is a great life - and this is an exciting time.
'Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress.' Bruce Barton

Kether-Malkuth Manifesting

I was in Atlanta for a spiritual weekend. It felt like Malkuth and Kether were vying for my attention. I felt spiritually uplifted at times and then, no matter how spiritual I was feeling, I was thwarted in my physical efforts. I had expectations that weren't met.
'Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there, you must first see inside of you.'
Wally 'Famous' Amos

Kether and Story

"From Kether's energies I can see that when I am not in the moment, I am in story. When I am in the moment, I am in history - creating it.
'The best of times is now.' Oprah Winfrey

Kether and Being in the Moment

I brought to me an opportunity for a part-time job. I say brought to me rather than when out and found a job because of you I have been becoming in Kether this time around. I realize that my needs are being taken care of when I am in the moment. When I am not in the moment, I am working on fulfilling my wants.
'Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.'
Lillian Dickson

Kether's Expansion is Condensing

It seems that the Vices of Malkuth, avarice and inertia, are appearing. Inertia is growing, becoming comfortable. It's like the Godness I felt through Kether makes me feel like life should happen for me, instead of me making it happen.
‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’ Anais Nin

Kether to Malkuth

I have learned that Kether is Malkuth on the Tree above - like our strands of DNA. So I can now feel the Kether I am in becoming the Malkuth of a higher Tree. My actions (and 'to do' lists)feel driven by a more solid force - a more practical force. I guess I have experienced as much of my Godself as I can take for one trip up the Tree. Kether's Light is certainly intense and has shown me a lot about myself. I will take a deep breath as I start the climb again.
'The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.' Henry Ellis

Kether and Malkuth

I plan to be in Malkuth going up the Tree of Life on the 13th. I struggled for sleep last night until I realized it was after midnight and 10-10-10. I called for the Godness of Kether to guide me in my thoughts. I was able to touch the sadness under my anger - and hold the wounded part of me in sacredness. I am ready to manifest a new in my life. I am looking forward to climbing the Tree again. I am knowing my self and my God more intimately.
"To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else." Emily Dickinson

Kether, the Source

Today I had an awareness of me energetically tugging on something. It did not feel unclean or manipulative. The energy just felt like I was trying to make something happen - that this might not have been for my highest good. So I let go. It was interesting to observe. I felt a comfortable distance from the 'something' so that I stayed unattached. I would very much like to repeat this. May be this is what is referred to as being in the flow.
'This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.' William James

Kether and Expansion

I feel overwhelmed by the awesomeness of expansion available through Kether. I hope that this means that some of the issues that I have been working on are getting 'lighter' in my life. I feel a great resolve to move forward and express my service in the world. It is amazing to feel the potential of all possibilities within Kether.
'A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.' Henrik Ibsen

Kether's Light Shining on Me

It is amazing to me how, when you place attention on something, so follows your intention. I found, through the Light of Kether, that my intention may not always be of the highest Light. And Kether's Light is certainly shining on Light on my not so highest intentions. And then again, I am only human and fallible.
‘In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it, thou art a fool.’ Rabbi Ben Azai

Kether and Shadows

I realize that in Kether, my shadows seem to be intensified. In my life right now, what is not of the Light, cannot sustain Kether's inspection.
'We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it.' Lauren Hill

Kether's Montana Teaching

I am vacationing and visiting my home in Montana (and taking care of some business). I co-taught a mini Introduction to the Qabalah with my friend, Pam. During the class I was aware of the sacred information teaching through me. I had let go of all expectations concerning the teaching of the class and trusted in my teacher, Laurie. Being in Kether helped me understand that my passion for the Qabalah and the workings of the Tree of Life were pretty pure. I was able to let my godness out - those are the only words I can find to adequately describe my experience.
'Whatever you are be a good one.' Abraham Lincoln

Kether's Formlessness

I am preparing to teach the Intro to the Hermetic Qabalah in Missoula, MT. I will be surfing through all the Sephiroth and their energies while teaching the class - most markedly, through a dynamic meditation/visualization Tree of Life journey. This journey gives form to the Sephiroth - all the while I am in formless Kether. What a great paradox. What a great challenge!
‘Act as if the maxim of your action were to become, through your will, a general natural law.’ Immanuel Kant

Kether's Refinement Process

I am seeing that anything that is not vibrating at a high vibration will show up in my life as a chaotic situation - or, at the very least, an unpleasant awareness. I am finding that I have more courage to examine my own motives - that I come from the Light more that I realize. And that is a good thing.
‘It is not the mountain we conquer, but ourselves.’ Edmund Hillary

Kether's Awakening in Me

I felt so overwhelmed today. I could see/feel/understand the motives of the actions of the people in my life. Not motives in a negative way. I could see/feel/understand exactly where they were coming from - where their fears lay. How they were just protecting their vulnerabilities through their actions. Then I started to receive clarity on conditions in my past. I am coming to a point of forgiveness. It is as if the weight of resentment and anger and revenge is just too heavy a burden now.
'Knowledge can be communicated, but wisdom cannot. A man can find it, he can live it, he can be filled and sustained by it, but he cannot utter or teach it.’ Hermann Hesse

Kether and Mindfulness

I seek greater and greater awareness of Self. I am constantly in questioning mode about my motives and actions. I finally understand why. The more I realize about myself, the greater my freedom. I seek my lessons and in so seeking, I find greater gifts. My joy becomes untethered.
'All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.’ Walt Disney

Kether and my Viewpoints

Beyond Kether is the Unknowable and Unknown of Ein, Ein Soph, Ein Soph Aur. I feel the pull of this Unknown - in a way that is drawing me out of old ways of being. I am seeing some response patterns to anger that are surprising me. I grew up in an very anger-filled home environment so I have had plenty of patterns to choose from.
'Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.' Albert Einstein

Kether, Oneness, Point of Light

I am trying to grasp the ungraspable. I am trying to be one with Kether as the Point of Singularity - of Oneness. In seeking this oneness with Kether, I have been seeing situations around me as manifestations of chaos - the opposite to me of the Point of Singularity. Kether, I feel, is a point of beingness. Well, there is the crux of my dilemma. Beingness. I am usually into 'doingness' or really 'busy-ness.'
'If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.' Maya Angelou

Kether, Its Oneness

I so felt the alienation of fear last night (due to believing the media). I dove into Kether this morning - seeking the remembrance of my unity with the One. I would love to hide in Kether, being one with the Divine. And I know that I wouldn't stay there. I would be distracted - by the different moments of life experienced outside of Kether. And I can keep going back to Kether to be reminded of my own Godness and co-creation of my world.
'There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.' Alexander Woollcott

Kether and Anger

I am working with the anger from my relationship with my mother. I have always intellectually 'reviewed' my anger and resentments with my mother (who has passed). This time, I was floored by its depth. I don't want to forgive her - at least not yet, not now. I know Kether's Light is shining brightly on my anger. This anger feels sharper. My consciousness about this anger is shifting. The anger is more real on a physical level.
“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” Gloria Steinem

Kether and Teaching

I am teaching a class (yesterday & today) in learning how to consult the Akashic Records. Being in Kether and being present to the students really heightened my awareness to the God in each of my students. And, of course, the God-being-Lillian was able to express compassion and non-judgment. I was, and am looking forward to today as well, reflecting the magnificence and their potential as I experience mine.
‘The Delphic oracle said I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing.’ Socrates

Kether and My Fate

For as long as I can remember, I understood God to be expressing Herself as Lillian. I understood this not in its fullest magnitude. Every so often, I would be able to grasp this. I would be able see that I am the co-creator of my fate.
'God asks no man whether he will accept life. That is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how.' Henry Ward Beecher

Kether and My Self-Image

My fears of abandonment have been like whispers in the wind. I have for so long seen myself as 'abandonable,' stemming from a childhood abandonment trauma. I have also felt abandoned by God. So who am I as God expressing Herself as Lillian? I can now glimpse at how I have been abandoning myself.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

Observations through Kether

In my observations yesterday, it was easy for me to see where others could have acted differently. It was not so easy for me to stop the words coming out of my mouth. I could see others limitations - and couldn't stop my words.
‘Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.’ Dr. Seuss

Kether and Bliss

In meditation this morning I slipped, every so gently and ever so fleetingly, into bliss. There is not much more to say about my Kether experience today. Bliss is bliss.
'Take it easy - but take it.' Woody Guthrie

Kether, Me and the Unmanifest

Kether is unmanifest. I am and can only be manifest. Yet I had an insight this morning that my passion for life is unmanifest. It drives me - this passion to experience all I can be. This passion comes before the force of Chokmah or the form of Binah in my life. My passion is this knowingness that we all are expressing our magnificence and perhaps we only need a reminder of that.
'We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing.' R. D. Laing

Kether

I traveled from Chokmah to Kether yesterday - and I woke filled with fear and hopelessness. I feel like I am standing naked in front of God. No games, no character defects, no distractions. Only me - feeling a bit less than in the magnificence of Kether. I know that this is only temporary. I know that I am God manifesting as Lillian. So I know that the God in me, Kether, will prevail. And hope and courage will come charging up to me just as the Knight of Swords in the Rider-Waite Tarot deck.
‘The only difference between a flower and a weed is...Judgment’ Anonymous

Chokmah's Expectancy

I woke up reflecting on the Tarot card, the Fool. It is the Path from Kether to Chokmah. I feel that sense of expectancy - of being close to the edge - seeking the trust to jump off. Since I am ascending the Tree of Life, I feel I have to find the trust to face my God - and my Self.
‘It is the direction and not the magnitude which is to be taken into consideration.’ Thomas Troward

Chokmah's Urging

I feel the urging of Chokmah. Its force certainly has not diminished. Chokmah's force now feels more like an urge to create - to move forth - rather than a drive to do so. I still see how my thoughts can interfere with right action, that I get too involved in the why or how to do and not enough in the doing.
‘Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing perfectly.’ Robert H. Schuller

Chokmah

This morning I realized how mercurial I am. I like a lot of movement in my life. And almost instantly after I claimed that awareness, I saw the dance of my life. I have sometimes rushed through parts of my life tripping over emotions and situations just to get past them. I believe this was the force of my ego. I need the force of Chokmah to move through my dance steps (or perhaps at times move me through the dance).
‘Only he who does nothing makes a mistake.' French Proverb

Chokmah & the Zodiac

The planet or Mundane Chakra associated with Chokmah is the Zodiac. The Zodiac is the path of constellations that the Sun crosses during the year. I am Capricorn, Leo rising, Moon in Taurus. Being in Chokmah has given me promptings from the other Zodiac signs. Pluto, in my 12th House, has been influencing how compassionately I look at my life - and demonstrate in it.
'I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy permanent planet.' Jack London

Chokmah

Kether is the Point and Chokmah is the Line from that point. And I feel that I am traveling along the Line, getting closer to Kether. There is a comfort in that. There is a growing sense of expectancy within me. I am not sure what I am expecting....
'Things do not change; we change.' Henry David Thoreau

Chokmah's Sacredness

I am feeling a bit holy. It is as if the reflection of Kether is shining upon me. I am beginning to think differently about my goals and my service. As I re-adjust my self-esteem, I find a growing awareness of how good my life is. It doesn't stem from what I have - it is from who I am becoming.
'Live every act fully, as if it were your last.' Buddha

Chokmah and my Will

I was playing with my fluorite pendulum this morning. I haven't used one in a long time. I made it move in several different ways (back & forth, clockwise & counterclockwise). Suddenly I thought of the force of Chokmah. Here I am, moving the pendulum - and if I can do this, then where is the force of my thoughts going? What am I putting my attention on - my force on? Which leads me to the thought that anything that is not working out in my life - I have put force on (or through)it in some way...not an exceptionally pleasant realization. And ever the optimist, this gives me hope that all can change very easily.
'Arriving at one point is the starting point to another.' John Dewey

Hebrew Alphabet

I have been doing a bit of studying of the Hebrew alphabet. Shinn attracts me the most. Shinn is path between Hod and Malkuth and that Path is also the Major Arcana card, Judgment. I see Judgment now as a release - an awakening. To me, Judgment is the opposite of Glamor. It is the ability to see clearly, which always leads me to an awakening of some measure.
'It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.' Ursula K. Le Guin

Chokmah - Forceful and Fanciful

I feel more creative - my thoughts are more fanciful - in the last 24 hours. I do not feel as afraid of Chokmah's force. I do not feel it as such an overwhelming, 'uncontrollable' force as I did at the beginning of this Chokmah journey. Although I do not feel in control of Chokmah's force, nor would ever assume I could be - I do feel in awe of Chokmah's magnificence. And I feel less resistance to its energies. Perhaps that is why I can feel the flow more.
'The most decisive actions of our life...are most often unconsidered actions.' Andre Gide

Almost caught some Wisdom

I realized this morning why going up the Tree of Life (again & again) is a life-long job (journey?). For one moment - only 15 minutes ago - I felt filled with Wisdom - the Wisdom in the force of Chokmah. Or is it the force in the Wisdom of Chokmah? And as soon as I said those words, the 'wise' thoughts left me. I think that I was trying to add a form to a realization....
'Only he who does nothing makes a mistake.' French Proverb

Chokmah's Force

Wow! Chokmah's energy is really ready to assist me in doing a clean sweep - when I let go of resistance. I was watching 'Good Will Hunting' last night with my husband, and when Shawn (Robin Williams) says repeatedly to Will (Matt Damon) that its is not his fault (his childhood circumstances/abuse). We both cried. I could feel a force within me helping me sweep clean guilt and shame. There is residue yet I feel a freedom. Chokmah's 'nudging' of its force has been stirring me up for 3 weeks - actually I felt sometimes like a plastic bag on the highway being buffeted about - and that is not the fault of Chokmah. It's the result of my resistances. I could finally feel how its force is benevolent.
'Things alter for the worse spontaneously, if they be not altered for the better designedly.' Francis Bacon

Chokmah's Virtues/Vices

When I woke up this morning, my brain apparently had been awake long before I opened my eyes. I felt as if I was in the throes of some of my character defects (reactive mode). And then I remembered that Chokmah is the virtue of Wisdom and has no Vice. So I breathed a sigh of relief. Chokmah is the reflection of Kether - so any vices of my own that I see I feel that I am having Light illuminate them for my benefit - so I may more clearly learn how expendable they are.
'As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.' John F Kennedy

Chokmah's Wake Up Call For Me

I grew up with a lot of anger. And now through Chokmah's force, I am observing anger and the way I can allow it to bounce off me or be absorbed by me. Unfortunately, I am finding the source of the anger is the determining factor as to whether the anger is absorbed or deflected. Consider the source....'Our acts make or mar us -- we are the children of own deeds.' Victor Hugo

Chokmah's Wisdom

Chokmah's attribute is Wisdom. I can't say I have been thinking more wisely since ascending to Chokmah. I can say that I have been more frequently able to see the falseness in my thoughts. I have to ask myself if this thought is true...or is it an opinion. I have discovered that I am living by a lot of opinions.
'The self is not ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.' John Dewey

Chokmah!

I have been experiencing the energies of Chokmah for about 2 weeks now. I can feel when its force meets my resistances to change. It is if, in experiencing the force of Chokmah, I have to quickly step into the stillness of Binah. This is a real challenge in acceptance (of self) for me.This is my very first blog experience! I welcome comments! Plus check out www.7thmysteryschool.com for more on the Qabalah!
"Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine." Robert C. Gallagher