Yesterday, traveling to SLC for the Qabalah Teacher's training, I journeyed through abandonment. Or rather, I journeyed through how I have perceived myself as 'abandonable.' Actually, it has been more like trying to get abandoned in the present day, to make sense of the abandonments throughout a dysfunctional childhood. I realized that I can't make sense of the past - that hat happened, happened. And no one can give me back what I lost then. I realized that I have been the only one perpetuating my sense of abandonment, or 'abandonability.' I have been self-conscious about abandonment, carrying the past around with me, trying to make sense out of the nonsensical. I have reached a level of self-awareness through Bet - that abandonment is an internal process. And today, I choose to support myself, cherish myself.
'As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.' John F. Kennedy
No comments:
Post a Comment